[This all makes sense — or, rather, it makes sense to her in the abstract. She is struggling to make the obvious inference from this statement.]
But...I saw her this morning.
[They’d passed each other as one was beginning her day and the other finishing her night. Leslie had trouble falling asleep the night before, her mind busy with some bit of theory she was having trouble with, so she slept in and was still quite groggy. The encounter had been short and unremarkable as Edelgard shooed the sleepy Leslie towards breakfast.]
[That can’t have been the last time she would ever see the woman who has been like a mother to her.]
Aren’t you being a little hasty to — to give me this letter? Maybe Lady Edelgard woke up early and went to see — to see —
[The list of names Leslie knows of people that Edelgard might leave the house to go visit on a whim has grown much shorter over the past few months. She isn’t able to come up with one on the spot as she looks for a way to deny what is being laid out in front of her.]
[Denial. Tenuous hope. Impending despair. How often had Hubert seen that during the war, in the eyes of his soldiers' families? In the eyes of his soldiers themselves? Nothing could soften that blow.]
Our Bond is gone, Leslie.
[He regretted he had to inform her of something so cruel, but delaying it would do no good.]
[The start of the question has already left her mouth before she thinks of a possible reason why the Bond could have broken other than Edelgard leaving in one way or another.]
[She could find a reason. A couple of them come to mind as soon as she hesitates. But she knows those possibilities and any others would be incredibly remote.]
[She has to face the truth: Edelgard is gone and Leslie will never see her again. Though she knew it would happen one day, the news still shocks her, her face going white and her eyes growing a little unfocused as she stares at nothing.]
[Her eyes soon refocus. She’s still very pale and her expression is still slack, her shock still clearly having not quite passed yet into actually processing the information. But there’s another side to that information Hubert gave her.]
...Are you going to be okay? Your magic, or, um. Emotionally?
[Hubert will see Edelgard again one day, but right now, he just lost a Bond. Though it’s more from hearing the theory than any personal experience, Leslie knows that the loss of a Bond is hard, and harder still when the two are as close as Hubert and Edelgard were — are.]
[Her reactions were impossible to miss, and it's enough to tug the corners of Hubert's mouth further down. He felt for her. It was a familiar thing, that keenness of loss in youth, and no one should have to experience it.]
Do not concern yourself with me, [Hubert offers mildly, gently, and two gloved fingers touch feather-light on one of Leslie's wrist, trying to draw her attention back down.]
I understand this is difficult, but I implore you to keep reading, Leslie. Lady Edelgard left important words for you.
[Leslie can’t agree with the idea that she shouldn’t concern herself with someone she likes as much as Hubert, but she can’t say anything about it in the face of his request that she read Edelgard’s words. The last words she’ll ever receive from her. She glances down to where Hubert’s touch reminds her where the letter is held right now.]
[It is difficult, though, which is why Leslie takes a few seconds before she finds her voice.]
Okay.
[As she looks back to the letter, her eyes move along the lines slowly but mostly steadily. By the third paragraph, her grip on the letter tightens, resulting in some wrinkles that she will regret when she realizes it.]
[(Later, she will try to smooth the wrinkles out again so that she will be able to preserve it as best as she can, but right now, she doesn’t even notice.)]
[She’s begun to sniffle once, twice through the fourth paragraph, but it’s the fifth where her eyes stop moving, stopped on three words. Leslie von Hresvelg.]
[Though no one has asked her surname here or even commented on how she only uses Leslie, she knows that, legally, her names ties her to a family that is truly evil. Does anyone in all of Aefenglom know of the Sperado name other than the few Leslie has told herself? No, but she knows. Does everyone in her own world who cares for her think of her adoption of a new surname as a fait accompli? Yes, but Leslie takes few things for granted. That slender chain still attaching her to the people who gave birth to her has remained a small but unrelenting weight on her heart.]
[A name she would never have even imagined asking for has now replaced that chain with a link to a woman she admires to an extreme level but will never see again. It’s an unbelievable lightening of her load, but it’s also what starts tears flowing in earnest. Something she only notices when a tear drips from her face onto the bottom of the letter.]
[Realizing what is happening, she drops the hand still holding the letter to her side and brings her opposite arm up to scrub at her eyes.]
Sorry. I’m sorry. I only need — only a minute.
[Getting her crying under control enough to continue reading without staining the paper will take more than one minute, though not much longer than that even if left to sort through it on her own, as she hiccups her way through suppressed sobs attempting to join the tears.]
['Difficult' might have been understating it. He'd been vaguely aware of the content of the letter from Edelgard's own account—and how he wished the two of them could have this conversation themselves, instead of by proxy. It would've meant the world to them both.]
[Instead, Hubert only brought her grief. His jaw tightens as Leslie works her way through the letter. She'll cry for both of them, give voice the screaming void of loss in the back of his head.]
You owe me no apology of any sort. Take as long as you need.
[Hubert makes no other move, content to wait where he stands while Leslie processes everything, the good and the bad.]
[If they could have had a day — or even an hour — of warning before a person returns through their mirror, the conversation could have happened. Leslie could have shared her own things she wanted Edelgard to know. But they don’t get that chance.]
[It’s not as if they haven’t spoken of serious and personal topics before, from time to time, but Leslie chose to ignore the inevitability of such a sudden parting and pretended she still had more time to express everything she needed to. And now she doesn’t.]
[She nods a few times, somewhat quickly, in response to Hubert’s words. It’s easier than using words right now.]
[When her tears have slowed enough that she can read again, Leslie finishes the letter. Another sob escapes when she reads Grow well, Leslie. and, upon finishing the letter, she hides as much of her face as she can with one hand to cover renewed tears.]
Lady Edelgard.... [Her voice is cracking.]
[The renewed tears don’t last as long, though even when she removes her hand and looks up at Hubert, it’s clear that this will certainly not be the last time she cries today.]
She’s...going to be okay, back there, isn’t she? She’ll be safe? And she’ll be happy? She said that the war is over, in her — in your world, but...she didn’t talk much about that time.
[She’s pieced together some idea of what kind of life Edelgard lived for the last few years before Aefenglom, but she really has a very limited grasp of what happened to Edelgard since she left the school.]
[When Edelgard was here, it was easier to accept the vague concept that things were okay now. With Edelgard now returned to that time and place, Leslie finds herself wanting reassurance that it is indeed as fine as she has been told.]
[...normally, Hubert never had an issue watching others cry. Sympathy or empathy at best. Today, he sucks in a quiet breath and closes his own eyes.]
[A return to their worlds wasn't the same as death, even if the Bond tried to make it seem so. But from their perspective, this unbridgeable separation might as well have been. He'd watched Edelgard die twice—once literally—and return from both... was it selfish to wish for her return? Hadn't his entire goal been to return them to Fódlan, where their dawn was beginning?]
[When he opens his eyes to find teary Leslie staring up at him, Hubert's hands tighten behind his back again. Did Edelgard ever tell the girl about her Crests-borne health? Would her vampirism remain and protect her from that looming mortality?]
Of course. I've met none other more competent than Lady Edelgard. The war may be over, and though her challenges are not, she will be surrounded by many able to support and protect her.
[But not me follows the words sharply in his thoughts, his gloves creaking quietly. The continental war was done, but his against the shadows hadn't started, and the most he could do was hope someone would take it up in his stead. Leslie didn't need to know that.]
[If there is ever the possibility of Leslie seeing the tension in Hubert’s body when he chooses to hold in his feelings, it wouldn’t be through teary eyes. Especially not when he tries to keep it confined to where she can’t see behind his back.]
[Even her understanding that he must be suffering has been pushed aside by her own grief. She will remember it later, but she has briefly forgotten the consideration she attempted to show him before she read the letter. Though she’s spent most of her life not knowing any adults worth relying on, she’s learned over almost a full year the child’s privilege of turning to an adult who seems emotionally invincible for comfort.]
That’s right. The people around Lady Edelgard — everything I’ve heard and seen proves that she’s surrounded by reliable companions.
[In an unknowing mirroring of Hubert’s own hands, she clasps her hands together tightly, though her own are in front of herself. She lowers her gaze a little.]
I’m happy for her. That she got to return.
[Despite the words she chooses, she sounds miserable.]
This was inevitable. [Maybe that wasn't the gentlest thing to say, but Hubert's pragmatism felt it important to note.]
Our nature as Mirrorbound make our presence inherently fleeting. You know that Lady Edelgard would not leave you suddenly if it were in her power—she loved you.
[A shake of his head.] There is no fault in grieving the loss of someone so brief, but so dear to you, or the words you never had a chance to say. Learn from it, like everything else. Even in your own world, the truth is that others will not be around forever. Treasure them.
Hubert takes another quiet breath, and uncharacteristically his gaze flicks aside before returning to Leslie.]
....I also understand that you reside here under Lady Edelgard's invitation. I... am a poor substitute as a guardian, but should you still feel comfortable residing here, you are welcome to.
[Maybe a bit of gentleness would have been nice. A hug and some comforting words, perhaps. Such things would be unexpected from Hubert, but while she wouldn't reject an unexpected act like that from him, Leslie appreciates Hubert for who he is. Perhaps ironically for a man whose job is subterfuge, she doesn't think he will ever lie to her (short of it advancing Lady Edelgard's interests).]
[It's that trust that makes her press her mouth shut tightly to keep from bursting into tears when he says, "she loved you." Of course she knows it already. If she ever had any doubts, the letter would have dispelled them all. But hearing it said out loud after reading this letter made it real all over again.]
[On the whole, though, she appreciates it being framed as something to work on. Something to focus her thoughts on that is still here. She nods silently.]
[When he starts to address the matter of living there, Leslie's eyes go wide and she looks scared for a brief moment. She might trust him to always tell her the truth, it seems that she thought he was about to tell her that now that the person who invited her was no longer here, she was no longer welcome.]
[It soon becomes clear what he actually means and her fear passes, but there's still a hint of desperation in her expression as she answers.]
No -- I mean, yes! I want to stay here! With you! Please.
[It might not have been a surprise that Leslie would want to stay, but the force of her affirmation is. After a shocked beat, Hubert nods, forcing his hand to fold over his heart and bow in acceptance.]
Very well. You are welcome as long as you wish to be. Lady Edelgard need not be here for you to continue being her ward.
[After all, she'd offer the girl her name. But it's a rote offering; this last year had brought Hubert and Leslie closer on their own terms... even if he would continue to lay credit at Edelgard's feet at every opportunity.]
[Straightening, tucking his hands behind his back once more, he finds himself at a bit of a loss for words. He never did console much, and his own state did not contribute. What now?] I... regret to have upset you this evening.
[His regret is likely not helped by the way she rubs her eyes for a few seconds after he says how she’s still Edelgard’s ward. It’s something she is happy to hear and a ghost of a smile briefly passes over her face from relief that she is still welcome. But her feelings are raw enough that something like that risks restarting her crying in earnest.]
[She has her still watery eyes back under control by the time he attempts a comfort. She appears to not understand why he said that.]
But I would have discovered her absence eventually. What else would you have wanted to do aside from telling me and giving me this letter?
[She seems to have taken “regret” a little too literally.]
And you weren’t what sent — [She swallows and her voice is quieter when she continues.] — what sent Lady Edelgard away. Telling me isn’t what upset me.
...a turn of phrase, I suppose. I would have rather not have to deliver this news at all. [Edelgard should be telling her this. Edelgard should be offering her name. Edelgard should...]
[Hubert inhales and forces his posture straighter where it had subtly slipped throughout the conversation. Useless thoughts. Edelgard was not here; there was nothing more to be done about that.]
My apologies. I'm normally the last one to be caught up in the pretend. Is there anything you need, Leslie?
[This shifting in posture and unexpected apology is enough to remind Leslie that Hubert is feeling this loss as well. But she can’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t be just a turn of phrase, either, and she isn’t even sure if Hubert would be willing to accept any offers to help him when he told her not to concern herself with him.]
[Maybe she can think of ways to quietly ease some of his burdens, she thinks, not realizing that she is a novice standing before the master in this.]
[She shakes her head at his apology, stopping before he asks the question.]
You don’t have to apologize. I understand. [As for the question,] ...Something I need....
[The first thought that crosses her mind is Edelgard being returned, but even if that weren’t beyond even Hubert’s abilities (she believes him capable of making most possible things happen by one way or another if he thinks it would be good for Lady Edelgard), she doesn’t think she could ask for something that selfish.]
[Not wanting to express this thought, she breaks eye contact with Hubert. As she glances away, her eyes catch the sight of the letter where she’d set it down to avoid any further damage to it from either teardrops or a tight grip. An idea that is a little less impossible comes to mind.]
Um. [She doesn’t look away from the letter as she answers.] If I were to write an answer to Lady Edelgard’s letter, and I read it to you...if you were to remember your time here when you make it back to Fódlan, would you tell her what it said?
[He waits, wondering for a brief moment after Leslie breaks her gaze away if his continued presence was beginning to make her uncomfortable. But a response? That admittedly hadn't crossed his mind. Hubert doesn't hesitate to nod.]
Of course. I'll do everything in my power to deliver the message.
[...Whatever power that was, subject to the whims of fate as Mirrorbound were. But if anyone could find a way to try, he could.]
[Leslie is aware that there is no way to know how possible this is to succeed. She’s heard rumours and theories about how things might be for a Mirrorbound when they return to their world, but no one really understands what the mirrors can or will do.]
[Even so, Hubert’s words bring some small relief into the mess of emotions currently swirling inside her. When she meets his gaze again, she gives him a shaky, small, but genuine smile.]
Thank you. [But with everything going on, she can’t maintain the smile for long.] It might take me some time to write it, or decide what I need to say, or things like that, but I will tell you when I have written it.
[She fiddles her thumbs a little in her clasped hands, feeling a little awkward (among the many, many other feelings). Though she expects he will not give an answer to his own question, she wants to ask:]
Is there....
[If she asks him as Marquis Vestra, she wonders if that formal distance might give him even more reason to deflect, so for once, she changes the way she addresses him deliberately.]
[It's the best acknowledgement Hubert could give. He didn't have the luxury to tell Leslie to "take her time" or "I'll be here." The recent disappearances were a stark reminder that he very well might not be.]
[But being called Hubert catches him slightly off guard; he blinks, and doesn't respond immediately.]
[What was there to say but "let me go with them?" What was in their power to do, and what could even be done about it? The girl just lost a mother. Selfish wishes should not be her burden.]
[So Hubert ultimately shakes his head.] I will manage. [Somehow.] You needn't be concerned with me, though I appreciate your consideration.
[Leslie doesn't intend for her expression to broadcast that she doesn't buy his claim that she needn't be concerned with me, but even through the rest of the emotions, it is not difficult to read that she doesn't accept the idea that she shouldn't be concerned about him. In a better time, she might even have said so, but this is not the time. Not for her, and not for him.]
Okay.
[She can't know that he's thinking about wishing to go back, too. She can guess it, though. She wonders if she should feel bad that she's relieved he, at least, is still here among the people she's shared a house with many times longer than she's lived with anyone who cared about her in her life.]
[It's not enough to make the hurt of the current loss go away.]
[Maybe it would be easier to ask something like this if it had been Hubert who'd left first and Edelgard was the one telling her. She's hugged Edelgard before. Maybe it would be easier if he had asked something of her and she wasn't the only one asking for things. But it's not either of those situations, and there is still something she needs -- wants, she corrects herself, incorrectly.]
Marquis Vestra.... [That was a brief toe-dipping into Huberting.] Can I...ask for a hug? It's okay if you don't want to. I'll be okay.
[The last part is tacked on very quickly, as it doesn't even occur to her that such a thing might be something Hubert might want or need. She's not even sure if those kinds of affectionate physical gestures are part of his repertoire. She can maybe see him doing so with Edelgard, or Byleth, if the two were not also restrained in such gestures. But anyone outside of that? She's not sure.]
[cue two months later on the couch when leslie better not come downstairs]
[If Hubert had been caught off-guard by the uncharacteristic use of his name, that paled before Leslie's request, where surprise visibly flickers across his face.]
From me?
[Of course from him—there was no one else, a part of his mind chides. He'd... never been a particularly comforting sort, and given how formally Leslie chose to address him and the emotional distance they usually maintained, Hubert had assumed...]
[Well. As the remainder, even if he was a poor hand at the role, he would try. Nodding, Hubert steps to the bed after a moment, seating himself beside Leslie opposite of the letter. He glances down at her, almost as if giving Leslie a chance to decide against it, before holding out his arm in invitation.]
[Ten months gone, she might have panicked slightly at his surprise, thinking she’d done something wrong to ask. She still has some of the same self-doubts and anxieties she arrived with, and she still keeps a formal distance from people who don’t actively shorten it themselves. But she has gained enough confidence and trust to know that he won’t get upset at her for asking, and at worst will tell her no.]
[Still, her response to his question is a quiet nod, rather than any words.]
[When he lifts his arm, she hesitates as she makes sure that she isn’t misinterpreting the gesture. And then — ]
Thank you.
[ — there is no more hesitation as she throws her arms around him as far as she can reach and holds him tightly with both arms. It’s more strength than she used to have, thanks to good food and Byleth’s lessons, but she’s still an underdeveloped thirteen year old. There’s not a huge amount of force there.]
[She does her best to not dampen his shirt by starting to cry anew as she buries her face in it, and she mostly succeeds. He may have to overlook the handful of tears that aren’t able to be held back, but she mostly succeeds.]
[If he'd been surprised before, this edged closer to shock as Leslie hurtles into his side, his arm coming to rest on Leslie's back more out of surprise. Her strength might be feeble, but there was no mistaking her grip for anything other than as vice-like as it could physically be.]
[Hubert says nothing of the girl's stray tears. After as much as she'd been through, to find an adoptive family in her world and then torn from it to Aefenglom's lands, then once more as Edelgard was returned to Fódlan before she could properly call the girl daughter... It's nothing short of cruelty at such a young age.]
[Silently, Hubert shifts, his grip tightening and bringing his other arm around to properly hold Leslie as she fought her tears and grief, his heart quietly bleeding with hers.]
[She probably could have held onto him all day, as a physical reminder that not all those from Fódlan who have become as dear as a true family to her have gone where she will never see them again. (Lorenz, at this time, can be counted among them, though he might not live in the same house. She can’t know that in a matter of months, he will also leave.)]
[She could certainly hugged him for less than a minute, letting the old voices of shame and doubt lead her to letting go early with apologies for forcing such a thing on him. (The thought certainly crosses her mind as her instincts interpret his surprise as a sign that he is letting her do this reluctantly. But as kind as she is sure Hubert is, she is also confident that he would tell her if this is beyond what he’s willing to do.)]
[But she balances out a compromise between her need for comfort and her reluctance to bother anyone instead. Some minutes pass quietly without her grip slackening at all, but eventually, her hug slowly loosens until she lets go and sits up again, wiping the remaining tears from her eyes.]
Thank you.
[She’s repeating herself, but she isn’t really sure what to say right now. After a moment, she thinks back to the way he worded his question.]
You gave me what I needed. I’ll...try to be okay now.
[Not that things are okay, but she will try to be as close as she is able to manage.]
[Hubert doesn't question the embrace's duration, nor is he particularly mindful of it. He owed Leslie this much—no, more, and he would do whatever she needed. It wasn't enough, it wasn't bringing Edelgard back or the Salvatores to her... but perhaps, standing in Edelgard's shadow in a different respect could be enough.]
[He doesn't move until Leslie does. Hubert watches the girl closely, dissatisfied with her words.]
Of course. Please, don't hesitate if there is anything else. I... [Hubert shakes his head, taking a quiet breath.] I know how to protect you, but little else. Your guardianship is a serious matter to me.
[Hubert almost leaves it there, but ten months is a fair time to get to know the girl, particularly one that wears her heart on her sleeve.] You are not a bother. You may come to me at any time.
[It's Leslie's turn to look surprised. Are you a mind-reader, Marquis Vestra?! ...is not quite what she thinks, but it does seem she still underestimates how much she wears her heart on her sleeve here. (It hasn't quite been a year since she first met someone who cared enough to look, after all.)]
...Thank you. I'll -- I'll do that. But please tell me if you're in the middle of something important when I come.
[There's a short pause, but she looks as though she has more to say. He's not the only one dissatisfied with something the other said.]
It's not true, that you don't know much else about being --
[Would it be "my guardian," when he said her guardianship? She stumbles over it and says something less intense to her.]
-- about looking after me. You've always been very kind to me, ever since I arrived. And...I think, without you, I would have been terrified of fire for the rest of my life.
[It isn't that she's not still afraid of fire. She thought when Mikasa had taught her some things about simple baking that she'd learn how to bake and cook and help out with that. Everything went fine until the moment she tried to place the bread into an oven heated by either wood-fed fire or gas-fed fire. And she still can't bring herself to confront the stove -- certainly not on a daily basis, at least.]
[But the difference between now and half a year ago is large enough for Leslie to see even through her own self-doubt. That wouldn't have happened if Hubert had not seen where the problem was and worked with her to take the small steps she could manage over and over again. It's not the only example of a time Hubert has done things for her, but it's a very important one.]
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But...I saw her this morning.
[They’d passed each other as one was beginning her day and the other finishing her night. Leslie had trouble falling asleep the night before, her mind busy with some bit of theory she was having trouble with, so she slept in and was still quite groggy. The encounter had been short and unremarkable as Edelgard shooed the sleepy Leslie towards breakfast.]
[That can’t have been the last time she would ever see the woman who has been like a mother to her.]
Aren’t you being a little hasty to — to give me this letter? Maybe Lady Edelgard woke up early and went to see — to see —
[The list of names Leslie knows of people that Edelgard might leave the house to go visit on a whim has grown much shorter over the past few months. She isn’t able to come up with one on the spot as she looks for a way to deny what is being laid out in front of her.]
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Our Bond is gone, Leslie.
[He regretted he had to inform her of something so cruel, but delaying it would do no good.]
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[The start of the question has already left her mouth before she thinks of a possible reason why the Bond could have broken other than Edelgard leaving in one way or another.]
[She could find a reason. A couple of them come to mind as soon as she hesitates. But she knows those possibilities and any others would be incredibly remote.]
[She has to face the truth: Edelgard is gone and Leslie will never see her again. Though she knew it would happen one day, the news still shocks her, her face going white and her eyes growing a little unfocused as she stares at nothing.]
[Her eyes soon refocus. She’s still very pale and her expression is still slack, her shock still clearly having not quite passed yet into actually processing the information. But there’s another side to that information Hubert gave her.]
...Are you going to be okay? Your magic, or, um. Emotionally?
[Hubert will see Edelgard again one day, but right now, he just lost a Bond. Though it’s more from hearing the theory than any personal experience, Leslie knows that the loss of a Bond is hard, and harder still when the two are as close as Hubert and Edelgard were — are.]
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Do not concern yourself with me, [Hubert offers mildly, gently, and two gloved fingers touch feather-light on one of Leslie's wrist, trying to draw her attention back down.]
I understand this is difficult, but I implore you to keep reading, Leslie. Lady Edelgard left important words for you.
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[It is difficult, though, which is why Leslie takes a few seconds before she finds her voice.]
Okay.
[As she looks back to the letter, her eyes move along the lines slowly but mostly steadily. By the third paragraph, her grip on the letter tightens, resulting in some wrinkles that she will regret when she realizes it.]
[(Later, she will try to smooth the wrinkles out again so that she will be able to preserve it as best as she can, but right now, she doesn’t even notice.)]
[She’s begun to sniffle once, twice through the fourth paragraph, but it’s the fifth where her eyes stop moving, stopped on three words. Leslie von Hresvelg.]
[Though no one has asked her surname here or even commented on how she only uses Leslie, she knows that, legally, her names ties her to a family that is truly evil. Does anyone in all of Aefenglom know of the Sperado name other than the few Leslie has told herself? No, but she knows. Does everyone in her own world who cares for her think of her adoption of a new surname as a fait accompli? Yes, but Leslie takes few things for granted. That slender chain still attaching her to the people who gave birth to her has remained a small but unrelenting weight on her heart.]
[A name she would never have even imagined asking for has now replaced that chain with a link to a woman she admires to an extreme level but will never see again. It’s an unbelievable lightening of her load, but it’s also what starts tears flowing in earnest. Something she only notices when a tear drips from her face onto the bottom of the letter.]
[Realizing what is happening, she drops the hand still holding the letter to her side and brings her opposite arm up to scrub at her eyes.]
Sorry. I’m sorry. I only need — only a minute.
[Getting her crying under control enough to continue reading without staining the paper will take more than one minute, though not much longer than that even if left to sort through it on her own, as she hiccups her way through suppressed sobs attempting to join the tears.]
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[Instead, Hubert only brought her grief. His jaw tightens as Leslie works her way through the letter. She'll cry for both of them, give voice the screaming void of loss in the back of his head.]
You owe me no apology of any sort. Take as long as you need.
[Hubert makes no other move, content to wait where he stands while Leslie processes everything, the good and the bad.]
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[It’s not as if they haven’t spoken of serious and personal topics before, from time to time, but Leslie chose to ignore the inevitability of such a sudden parting and pretended she still had more time to express everything she needed to. And now she doesn’t.]
[She nods a few times, somewhat quickly, in response to Hubert’s words. It’s easier than using words right now.]
[When her tears have slowed enough that she can read again, Leslie finishes the letter. Another sob escapes when she reads Grow well, Leslie. and, upon finishing the letter, she hides as much of her face as she can with one hand to cover renewed tears.]
Lady Edelgard.... [Her voice is cracking.]
[The renewed tears don’t last as long, though even when she removes her hand and looks up at Hubert, it’s clear that this will certainly not be the last time she cries today.]
She’s...going to be okay, back there, isn’t she? She’ll be safe? And she’ll be happy? She said that the war is over, in her — in your world, but...she didn’t talk much about that time.
[She’s pieced together some idea of what kind of life Edelgard lived for the last few years before Aefenglom, but she really has a very limited grasp of what happened to Edelgard since she left the school.]
[When Edelgard was here, it was easier to accept the vague concept that things were okay now. With Edelgard now returned to that time and place, Leslie finds herself wanting reassurance that it is indeed as fine as she has been told.]
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[A return to their worlds wasn't the same as death, even if the Bond tried to make it seem so. But from their perspective, this unbridgeable separation might as well have been. He'd watched Edelgard die twice—once literally—and return from both... was it selfish to wish for her return? Hadn't his entire goal been to return them to Fódlan, where their dawn was beginning?]
[When he opens his eyes to find teary Leslie staring up at him, Hubert's hands tighten behind his back again. Did Edelgard ever tell the girl about her Crests-borne health? Would her vampirism remain and protect her from that looming mortality?]
Of course. I've met none other more competent than Lady Edelgard. The war may be over, and though her challenges are not, she will be surrounded by many able to support and protect her.
[But not me follows the words sharply in his thoughts, his gloves creaking quietly. The continental war was done, but his against the shadows hadn't started, and the most he could do was hope someone would take it up in his stead. Leslie didn't need to know that.]
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[Even her understanding that he must be suffering has been pushed aside by her own grief. She will remember it later, but she has briefly forgotten the consideration she attempted to show him before she read the letter. Though she’s spent most of her life not knowing any adults worth relying on, she’s learned over almost a full year the child’s privilege of turning to an adult who seems emotionally invincible for comfort.]
That’s right. The people around Lady Edelgard — everything I’ve heard and seen proves that she’s surrounded by reliable companions.
[In an unknowing mirroring of Hubert’s own hands, she clasps her hands together tightly, though her own are in front of herself. She lowers her gaze a little.]
I’m happy for her. That she got to return.
[Despite the words she chooses, she sounds miserable.]
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Our nature as Mirrorbound make our presence inherently fleeting. You know that Lady Edelgard would not leave you suddenly if it were in her power—she loved you.
[A shake of his head.] There is no fault in grieving the loss of someone so brief, but so dear to you, or the words you never had a chance to say. Learn from it, like everything else. Even in your own world, the truth is that others will not be around forever. Treasure them.
Hubert takes another quiet breath, and uncharacteristically his gaze flicks aside before returning to Leslie.]
....I also understand that you reside here under Lady Edelgard's invitation. I... am a poor substitute as a guardian, but should you still feel comfortable residing here, you are welcome to.
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[It's that trust that makes her press her mouth shut tightly to keep from bursting into tears when he says, "she loved you." Of course she knows it already. If she ever had any doubts, the letter would have dispelled them all. But hearing it said out loud after reading this letter made it real all over again.]
[On the whole, though, she appreciates it being framed as something to work on. Something to focus her thoughts on that is still here. She nods silently.]
[When he starts to address the matter of living there, Leslie's eyes go wide and she looks scared for a brief moment. She might trust him to always tell her the truth, it seems that she thought he was about to tell her that now that the person who invited her was no longer here, she was no longer welcome.]
[It soon becomes clear what he actually means and her fear passes, but there's still a hint of desperation in her expression as she answers.]
No -- I mean, yes! I want to stay here! With you! Please.
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Very well. You are welcome as long as you wish to be. Lady Edelgard need not be here for you to continue being her ward.
[After all, she'd offer the girl her name. But it's a rote offering; this last year had brought Hubert and Leslie closer on their own terms... even if he would continue to lay credit at Edelgard's feet at every opportunity.]
[Straightening, tucking his hands behind his back once more, he finds himself at a bit of a loss for words. He never did console much, and his own state did not contribute. What now?] I... regret to have upset you this evening.
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[She has her still watery eyes back under control by the time he attempts a comfort. She appears to not understand why he said that.]
But I would have discovered her absence eventually. What else would you have wanted to do aside from telling me and giving me this letter?
[She seems to have taken “regret” a little too literally.]
And you weren’t what sent — [She swallows and her voice is quieter when she continues.] — what sent Lady Edelgard away. Telling me isn’t what upset me.
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[Hubert inhales and forces his posture straighter where it had subtly slipped throughout the conversation. Useless thoughts. Edelgard was not here; there was nothing more to be done about that.]
My apologies. I'm normally the last one to be caught up in the pretend. Is there anything you need, Leslie?
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[Maybe she can think of ways to quietly ease some of his burdens, she thinks, not realizing that she is a novice standing before the master in this.]
[She shakes her head at his apology, stopping before he asks the question.]
You don’t have to apologize. I understand. [As for the question,] ...Something I need....
[The first thought that crosses her mind is Edelgard being returned, but even if that weren’t beyond even Hubert’s abilities (she believes him capable of making most possible things happen by one way or another if he thinks it would be good for Lady Edelgard), she doesn’t think she could ask for something that selfish.]
[Not wanting to express this thought, she breaks eye contact with Hubert. As she glances away, her eyes catch the sight of the letter where she’d set it down to avoid any further damage to it from either teardrops or a tight grip. An idea that is a little less impossible comes to mind.]
Um. [She doesn’t look away from the letter as she answers.] If I were to write an answer to Lady Edelgard’s letter, and I read it to you...if you were to remember your time here when you make it back to Fódlan, would you tell her what it said?
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Of course. I'll do everything in my power to deliver the message.
[...Whatever power that was, subject to the whims of fate as Mirrorbound were. But if anyone could find a way to try, he could.]
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[Even so, Hubert’s words bring some small relief into the mess of emotions currently swirling inside her. When she meets his gaze again, she gives him a shaky, small, but genuine smile.]
Thank you. [But with everything going on, she can’t maintain the smile for long.] It might take me some time to write it, or decide what I need to say, or things like that, but I will tell you when I have written it.
[She fiddles her thumbs a little in her clasped hands, feeling a little awkward (among the many, many other feelings). Though she expects he will not give an answer to his own question, she wants to ask:]
Is there....
[If she asks him as Marquis Vestra, she wonders if that formal distance might give him even more reason to deflect, so for once, she changes the way she addresses him deliberately.]
Is there anything you need, Hubert?
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[It's the best acknowledgement Hubert could give. He didn't have the luxury to tell Leslie to "take her time" or "I'll be here." The recent disappearances were a stark reminder that he very well might not be.]
[But being called Hubert catches him slightly off guard; he blinks, and doesn't respond immediately.]
[What was there to say but "let me go with them?" What was in their power to do, and what could even be done about it? The girl just lost a mother. Selfish wishes should not be her burden.]
[So Hubert ultimately shakes his head.] I will manage. [Somehow.] You needn't be concerned with me, though I appreciate your consideration.
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Okay.
[She can't know that he's thinking about wishing to go back, too. She can guess it, though. She wonders if she should feel bad that she's relieved he, at least, is still here among the people she's shared a house with many times longer than she's lived with anyone who cared about her in her life.]
[It's not enough to make the hurt of the current loss go away.]
[Maybe it would be easier to ask something like this if it had been Hubert who'd left first and Edelgard was the one telling her. She's hugged Edelgard before. Maybe it would be easier if he had asked something of her and she wasn't the only one asking for things. But it's not either of those situations, and there is still something she needs -- wants, she corrects herself, incorrectly.]
Marquis Vestra.... [That was a brief toe-dipping into Huberting.] Can I...ask for a hug? It's okay if you don't want to. I'll be okay.
[The last part is tacked on very quickly, as it doesn't even occur to her that such a thing might be something Hubert might want or need. She's not even sure if those kinds of affectionate physical gestures are part of his repertoire. She can maybe see him doing so with Edelgard, or Byleth, if the two were not also restrained in such gestures. But anyone outside of that? She's not sure.]
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From me?
[Of course from him—there was no one else, a part of his mind chides. He'd... never been a particularly comforting sort, and given how formally Leslie chose to address him and the emotional distance they usually maintained, Hubert had assumed...]
[Well. As the remainder, even if he was a poor hand at the role, he would try. Nodding, Hubert steps to the bed after a moment, seating himself beside Leslie opposite of the letter. He glances down at her, almost as if giving Leslie a chance to decide against it, before holding out his arm in invitation.]
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[Still, her response to his question is a quiet nod, rather than any words.]
[When he lifts his arm, she hesitates as she makes sure that she isn’t misinterpreting the gesture. And then — ]
Thank you.
[ — there is no more hesitation as she throws her arms around him as far as she can reach and holds him tightly with both arms. It’s more strength than she used to have, thanks to good food and Byleth’s lessons, but she’s still an underdeveloped thirteen year old. There’s not a huge amount of force there.]
[She does her best to not dampen his shirt by starting to cry anew as she buries her face in it, and she mostly succeeds. He may have to overlook the handful of tears that aren’t able to be held back, but she mostly succeeds.]
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[Hubert says nothing of the girl's stray tears. After as much as she'd been through, to find an adoptive family in her world and then torn from it to Aefenglom's lands, then once more as Edelgard was returned to Fódlan before she could properly call the girl daughter... It's nothing short of cruelty at such a young age.]
[Silently, Hubert shifts, his grip tightening and bringing his other arm around to properly hold Leslie as she fought her tears and grief, his heart quietly bleeding with hers.]
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[She could certainly hugged him for less than a minute, letting the old voices of shame and doubt lead her to letting go early with apologies for forcing such a thing on him. (The thought certainly crosses her mind as her instincts interpret his surprise as a sign that he is letting her do this reluctantly. But as kind as she is sure Hubert is, she is also confident that he would tell her if this is beyond what he’s willing to do.)]
[But she balances out a compromise between her need for comfort and her reluctance to bother anyone instead. Some minutes pass quietly without her grip slackening at all, but eventually, her hug slowly loosens until she lets go and sits up again, wiping the remaining tears from her eyes.]
Thank you.
[She’s repeating herself, but she isn’t really sure what to say right now. After a moment, she thinks back to the way he worded his question.]
You gave me what I needed. I’ll...try to be okay now.
[Not that things are okay, but she will try to be as close as she is able to manage.]
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[He doesn't move until Leslie does. Hubert watches the girl closely, dissatisfied with her words.]
Of course. Please, don't hesitate if there is anything else. I... [Hubert shakes his head, taking a quiet breath.] I know how to protect you, but little else. Your guardianship is a serious matter to me.
[Hubert almost leaves it there, but ten months is a fair time to get to know the girl, particularly one that wears her heart on her sleeve.] You are not a bother. You may come to me at any time.
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...Thank you. I'll -- I'll do that. But please tell me if you're in the middle of something important when I come.
[There's a short pause, but she looks as though she has more to say. He's not the only one dissatisfied with something the other said.]
It's not true, that you don't know much else about being --
[Would it be "my guardian," when he said her guardianship? She stumbles over it and says something less intense to her.]
-- about looking after me. You've always been very kind to me, ever since I arrived. And...I think, without you, I would have been terrified of fire for the rest of my life.
[It isn't that she's not still afraid of fire. She thought when Mikasa had taught her some things about simple baking that she'd learn how to bake and cook and help out with that. Everything went fine until the moment she tried to place the bread into an oven heated by either wood-fed fire or gas-fed fire. And she still can't bring herself to confront the stove -- certainly not on a daily basis, at least.]
[But the difference between now and half a year ago is large enough for Leslie to see even through her own self-doubt. That wouldn't have happened if Hubert had not seen where the problem was and worked with her to take the small steps she could manage over and over again. It's not the only example of a time Hubert has done things for her, but it's a very important one.]
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