[Leslie doesn't intend for her expression to broadcast that she doesn't buy his claim that she needn't be concerned with me, but even through the rest of the emotions, it is not difficult to read that she doesn't accept the idea that she shouldn't be concerned about him. In a better time, she might even have said so, but this is not the time. Not for her, and not for him.]
Okay.
[She can't know that he's thinking about wishing to go back, too. She can guess it, though. She wonders if she should feel bad that she's relieved he, at least, is still here among the people she's shared a house with many times longer than she's lived with anyone who cared about her in her life.]
[It's not enough to make the hurt of the current loss go away.]
[Maybe it would be easier to ask something like this if it had been Hubert who'd left first and Edelgard was the one telling her. She's hugged Edelgard before. Maybe it would be easier if he had asked something of her and she wasn't the only one asking for things. But it's not either of those situations, and there is still something she needs -- wants, she corrects herself, incorrectly.]
Marquis Vestra.... [That was a brief toe-dipping into Huberting.] Can I...ask for a hug? It's okay if you don't want to. I'll be okay.
[The last part is tacked on very quickly, as it doesn't even occur to her that such a thing might be something Hubert might want or need. She's not even sure if those kinds of affectionate physical gestures are part of his repertoire. She can maybe see him doing so with Edelgard, or Byleth, if the two were not also restrained in such gestures. But anyone outside of that? She's not sure.]
[cue two months later on the couch when leslie better not come downstairs]
[If Hubert had been caught off-guard by the uncharacteristic use of his name, that paled before Leslie's request, where surprise visibly flickers across his face.]
From me?
[Of course from him—there was no one else, a part of his mind chides. He'd... never been a particularly comforting sort, and given how formally Leslie chose to address him and the emotional distance they usually maintained, Hubert had assumed...]
[Well. As the remainder, even if he was a poor hand at the role, he would try. Nodding, Hubert steps to the bed after a moment, seating himself beside Leslie opposite of the letter. He glances down at her, almost as if giving Leslie a chance to decide against it, before holding out his arm in invitation.]
[Ten months gone, she might have panicked slightly at his surprise, thinking she’d done something wrong to ask. She still has some of the same self-doubts and anxieties she arrived with, and she still keeps a formal distance from people who don’t actively shorten it themselves. But she has gained enough confidence and trust to know that he won’t get upset at her for asking, and at worst will tell her no.]
[Still, her response to his question is a quiet nod, rather than any words.]
[When he lifts his arm, she hesitates as she makes sure that she isn’t misinterpreting the gesture. And then — ]
Thank you.
[ — there is no more hesitation as she throws her arms around him as far as she can reach and holds him tightly with both arms. It’s more strength than she used to have, thanks to good food and Byleth’s lessons, but she’s still an underdeveloped thirteen year old. There’s not a huge amount of force there.]
[She does her best to not dampen his shirt by starting to cry anew as she buries her face in it, and she mostly succeeds. He may have to overlook the handful of tears that aren’t able to be held back, but she mostly succeeds.]
[If he'd been surprised before, this edged closer to shock as Leslie hurtles into his side, his arm coming to rest on Leslie's back more out of surprise. Her strength might be feeble, but there was no mistaking her grip for anything other than as vice-like as it could physically be.]
[Hubert says nothing of the girl's stray tears. After as much as she'd been through, to find an adoptive family in her world and then torn from it to Aefenglom's lands, then once more as Edelgard was returned to Fódlan before she could properly call the girl daughter... It's nothing short of cruelty at such a young age.]
[Silently, Hubert shifts, his grip tightening and bringing his other arm around to properly hold Leslie as she fought her tears and grief, his heart quietly bleeding with hers.]
[She probably could have held onto him all day, as a physical reminder that not all those from Fódlan who have become as dear as a true family to her have gone where she will never see them again. (Lorenz, at this time, can be counted among them, though he might not live in the same house. She can’t know that in a matter of months, he will also leave.)]
[She could certainly hugged him for less than a minute, letting the old voices of shame and doubt lead her to letting go early with apologies for forcing such a thing on him. (The thought certainly crosses her mind as her instincts interpret his surprise as a sign that he is letting her do this reluctantly. But as kind as she is sure Hubert is, she is also confident that he would tell her if this is beyond what he’s willing to do.)]
[But she balances out a compromise between her need for comfort and her reluctance to bother anyone instead. Some minutes pass quietly without her grip slackening at all, but eventually, her hug slowly loosens until she lets go and sits up again, wiping the remaining tears from her eyes.]
Thank you.
[She’s repeating herself, but she isn’t really sure what to say right now. After a moment, she thinks back to the way he worded his question.]
You gave me what I needed. I’ll...try to be okay now.
[Not that things are okay, but she will try to be as close as she is able to manage.]
[Hubert doesn't question the embrace's duration, nor is he particularly mindful of it. He owed Leslie this much—no, more, and he would do whatever she needed. It wasn't enough, it wasn't bringing Edelgard back or the Salvatores to her... but perhaps, standing in Edelgard's shadow in a different respect could be enough.]
[He doesn't move until Leslie does. Hubert watches the girl closely, dissatisfied with her words.]
Of course. Please, don't hesitate if there is anything else. I... [Hubert shakes his head, taking a quiet breath.] I know how to protect you, but little else. Your guardianship is a serious matter to me.
[Hubert almost leaves it there, but ten months is a fair time to get to know the girl, particularly one that wears her heart on her sleeve.] You are not a bother. You may come to me at any time.
[It's Leslie's turn to look surprised. Are you a mind-reader, Marquis Vestra?! ...is not quite what she thinks, but it does seem she still underestimates how much she wears her heart on her sleeve here. (It hasn't quite been a year since she first met someone who cared enough to look, after all.)]
...Thank you. I'll -- I'll do that. But please tell me if you're in the middle of something important when I come.
[There's a short pause, but she looks as though she has more to say. He's not the only one dissatisfied with something the other said.]
It's not true, that you don't know much else about being --
[Would it be "my guardian," when he said her guardianship? She stumbles over it and says something less intense to her.]
-- about looking after me. You've always been very kind to me, ever since I arrived. And...I think, without you, I would have been terrified of fire for the rest of my life.
[It isn't that she's not still afraid of fire. She thought when Mikasa had taught her some things about simple baking that she'd learn how to bake and cook and help out with that. Everything went fine until the moment she tried to place the bread into an oven heated by either wood-fed fire or gas-fed fire. And she still can't bring herself to confront the stove -- certainly not on a daily basis, at least.]
[But the difference between now and half a year ago is large enough for Leslie to see even through her own self-doubt. That wouldn't have happened if Hubert had not seen where the problem was and worked with her to take the small steps she could manage over and over again. It's not the only example of a time Hubert has done things for her, but it's a very important one.]
[Hubert falls quiet. He had his doubts, but it wouldn't do to so openly question Leslie after such words. He never was good at wearing praise; so, Hubert lays a hand briefly across his chest and inclining his head, as much of a suggestion of a bow as he could provide with the space between them.]
It was the least I could afford you. Even had you not been Edelgard's ward, I had no reason to bear ill-will towards you, and drive and courage such as yours deserves every opportunity it was denied.
[Which was sidestepping, perhaps. Another silent moment.] Will you truly be alright?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Okay.
[She can't know that he's thinking about wishing to go back, too. She can guess it, though. She wonders if she should feel bad that she's relieved he, at least, is still here among the people she's shared a house with many times longer than she's lived with anyone who cared about her in her life.]
[It's not enough to make the hurt of the current loss go away.]
[Maybe it would be easier to ask something like this if it had been Hubert who'd left first and Edelgard was the one telling her. She's hugged Edelgard before. Maybe it would be easier if he had asked something of her and she wasn't the only one asking for things. But it's not either of those situations, and there is still something she needs -- wants, she corrects herself, incorrectly.]
Marquis Vestra.... [That was a brief toe-dipping into Huberting.] Can I...ask for a hug? It's okay if you don't want to. I'll be okay.
[The last part is tacked on very quickly, as it doesn't even occur to her that such a thing might be something Hubert might want or need. She's not even sure if those kinds of affectionate physical gestures are part of his repertoire. She can maybe see him doing so with Edelgard, or Byleth, if the two were not also restrained in such gestures. But anyone outside of that? She's not sure.]
[
cue two months later on the couch when leslie better not come downstairs]no subject
From me?
[Of course from him—there was no one else, a part of his mind chides. He'd... never been a particularly comforting sort, and given how formally Leslie chose to address him and the emotional distance they usually maintained, Hubert had assumed...]
[Well. As the remainder, even if he was a poor hand at the role, he would try. Nodding, Hubert steps to the bed after a moment, seating himself beside Leslie opposite of the letter. He glances down at her, almost as if giving Leslie a chance to decide against it, before holding out his arm in invitation.]
no subject
[Still, her response to his question is a quiet nod, rather than any words.]
[When he lifts his arm, she hesitates as she makes sure that she isn’t misinterpreting the gesture. And then — ]
Thank you.
[ — there is no more hesitation as she throws her arms around him as far as she can reach and holds him tightly with both arms. It’s more strength than she used to have, thanks to good food and Byleth’s lessons, but she’s still an underdeveloped thirteen year old. There’s not a huge amount of force there.]
[She does her best to not dampen his shirt by starting to cry anew as she buries her face in it, and she mostly succeeds. He may have to overlook the handful of tears that aren’t able to be held back, but she mostly succeeds.]
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[Hubert says nothing of the girl's stray tears. After as much as she'd been through, to find an adoptive family in her world and then torn from it to Aefenglom's lands, then once more as Edelgard was returned to Fódlan before she could properly call the girl daughter... It's nothing short of cruelty at such a young age.]
[Silently, Hubert shifts, his grip tightening and bringing his other arm around to properly hold Leslie as she fought her tears and grief, his heart quietly bleeding with hers.]
no subject
[She could certainly hugged him for less than a minute, letting the old voices of shame and doubt lead her to letting go early with apologies for forcing such a thing on him. (The thought certainly crosses her mind as her instincts interpret his surprise as a sign that he is letting her do this reluctantly. But as kind as she is sure Hubert is, she is also confident that he would tell her if this is beyond what he’s willing to do.)]
[But she balances out a compromise between her need for comfort and her reluctance to bother anyone instead. Some minutes pass quietly without her grip slackening at all, but eventually, her hug slowly loosens until she lets go and sits up again, wiping the remaining tears from her eyes.]
Thank you.
[She’s repeating herself, but she isn’t really sure what to say right now. After a moment, she thinks back to the way he worded his question.]
You gave me what I needed. I’ll...try to be okay now.
[Not that things are okay, but she will try to be as close as she is able to manage.]
no subject
[He doesn't move until Leslie does. Hubert watches the girl closely, dissatisfied with her words.]
Of course. Please, don't hesitate if there is anything else. I... [Hubert shakes his head, taking a quiet breath.] I know how to protect you, but little else. Your guardianship is a serious matter to me.
[Hubert almost leaves it there, but ten months is a fair time to get to know the girl, particularly one that wears her heart on her sleeve.] You are not a bother. You may come to me at any time.
no subject
...Thank you. I'll -- I'll do that. But please tell me if you're in the middle of something important when I come.
[There's a short pause, but she looks as though she has more to say. He's not the only one dissatisfied with something the other said.]
It's not true, that you don't know much else about being --
[Would it be "my guardian," when he said her guardianship? She stumbles over it and says something less intense to her.]
-- about looking after me. You've always been very kind to me, ever since I arrived. And...I think, without you, I would have been terrified of fire for the rest of my life.
[It isn't that she's not still afraid of fire. She thought when Mikasa had taught her some things about simple baking that she'd learn how to bake and cook and help out with that. Everything went fine until the moment she tried to place the bread into an oven heated by either wood-fed fire or gas-fed fire. And she still can't bring herself to confront the stove -- certainly not on a daily basis, at least.]
[But the difference between now and half a year ago is large enough for Leslie to see even through her own self-doubt. That wouldn't have happened if Hubert had not seen where the problem was and worked with her to take the small steps she could manage over and over again. It's not the only example of a time Hubert has done things for her, but it's a very important one.]
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It was the least I could afford you. Even had you not been Edelgard's ward, I had no reason to bear ill-will towards you, and drive and courage such as yours deserves every opportunity it was denied.
[Which was sidestepping, perhaps. Another silent moment.] Will you truly be alright?